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Because my job lends me to work with more men than women, one of my “boundaries” is to intentionally befriend the wives of men I work with.Not in manipulation, but as a way of reassuring them and allowing them to feel safe and comfortable with me.

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So why was I getting a speech like I’m the other woman?I didn’t hang out with married men or ask them personal questions about their lives.I had no desire for any of the men I worked with, nor did I seek their interest.” At this point I began to clue in in that, I, unknowingly and naively, had crossed a boundary.She looked at me sympathetically and then launched into the speech.None of these are 11th Commandments, or necessary for every couple on the planet, but for us, they are agreements we made for the sake of protecting and nurturing our marriage. Boundaries set you free to love your spouse in a way you can never love anyone else. Follow Good Women Project on Twitter: @goodwomenproj Be a fan on Facebook: Subscribe to our email newsletter for insider updates here or subscribe to the blog here. Everyone on our team is volunteer, and we are funded 100% by you. We're also doing fun stuff on Tumblr, Instagram, and Pinterest!

A wise person told me once that no one is above an affair. When we become invincible in our minds, we let lies seep in, ignore our intuition that quietly says, “mayday! If you’re thinking by now that I have surely lost my mind, that I wear jeans up to my bra, and that I haven’t had my hair styled since 1996, you’re wrong. I teeter on the edge of hip (can you be hip and use the word “teeter? Trust, loyalty, and promise win out over the flesh. May: What No One Told Me About Marriage June: Body Image & Beauty July: Let's Talk About Sex Some More August: From The Men: What They Want, Need & Love September: Making The Most Of Being Single October: Dating: Mistakes I Made November: Pornography December: What I Learned In 2011 January: Emotions: What Do I Do With Them?

For instance, take the survey results published in the Clearly, what is considered “regular” use of pornography, or being “controlled” by it, are not the same across the board. One contributing factor that psychologists give is religion.

Pioneering sex therapist Michael Quadland has studied those who feel “out of control” with their sexual behavior.

What does it mean to use porn “compulsively” or “regularly”?

For some folks, “addictive” use of porn might be once a month, once a week, once a day, or many hours in a day.

– Lauren Sitting across the table from my friend, Pam, I heard it for the first time.